Friday, April 29, 2011

I'll Show You Curves

I have a bone to pick with the media.

(And no, I'm not about to get serious on you about politics, or the lack of important coverage crowded out by festivities taking place across the pond. I mean, really, who are you talking to?)

Lately, it seems that different magazines have taken the stand that there is a new "trend" in Holloywood and on the runway. A trend towards the "curvy, voluptuous" woman. Some have gone so far as to say, the "real" woman.


I'll be the first to concede that not every female on TV currently looks like an Ally McBeal character. (Go back and watch some episodes and then try to figure out how every teen watching that show didn't end up with an eating disorder) But frankly, its insulting to be told that actresses like America Ferrera and Kim Kardashian are a sign of times changing. Have you actually looked at these women?

Maybe in early days of Ms. Ferrara entering the world of acting, the "Real Women Have Curves" era, would I feel I could relate to her, but now? She can't possibly be more than a size 8 (and if she is, get me her stylist PRONTO).

Kim Kardashian? Having a bubble butt does NOT qualify as being every woman. Maybe if the rest of your figure was proportionate to the one feature everyone focuses on, I could relate.

Now, one of the few current actresses who might actually have a dress in her closet I could wear (minus 5 pounds maybe) is Christina Hendricks. Or so I am guessing. "They" say she is a size 12. Every last pound of that girl is gorgeous. But, let's be real. Do you think Hollywood would be so accepting if her bust didn't have it's own gravitational pull?

So, if you are keeping track, Hollywood is telling us that it's ok to be a "big girl" so long as a) you aren't REALLY a big girl b) just your butt is big or c) your boobs are large enough that everything else looks substantially smaller.

I'm not saying that Hollywood needs to suddenly start scouring the Lane Bryant's of the world finding their next star. I would just prefer they stop trying to sell us on the idea that these actresses are a representation of "real" women.

Unless you bring back the Lillian Russel era. Then, we'll talk.


  1. Can I get a WHOOP WHOOP from the congregation?! Preach it, sista. I do think Christina Hendricks is gorgeous. Good call on that one.

    And how about a moment of silence for one of the sexiest women to ever live: Marilyn Monroe. Size 12 to Size 16. Bless her.

  2. I love that it appears that Christina Hendricks has actually gained in her career (she looked smaller back in Firefly days) and looks amazing.

    And I'll refrain from bursting the Marilyn size bubble and just agree that she was gorgeous. ;)

  3. Girl, this is spot on "true that!" Love it! I wholeheartedly agree that America, beautiful though she is, is "real" curves no more. Curvy? Yes. Real curves? Not unless you consider them a size 6/8. What's ironic is that the average size for women is a 14 yet the representation of this size is few and far between. Yes, we have Tara Lynn and we used to have Crystal Renn, but who else represents us curvy sisters? Frankly, I want the Rubenesque era to do a comeback and I want vintage to mean Marilyn Monroe like Girl Parker said.

  4. Haha this is great. I love hearing you girls spout off about this. Ok my humble opinion: the "norm" was NEVER the norm. Just remember, all those supposedly "perfect" models we've been groomed to worship have been hand-picked by homosexual designers whose only interest in them was a frame that would make their clothes look good. They sell clothes, not sex (as if men needed any encouragement?!!) Hollywood isn't far off from that. Now we have the Brits who have banned the American make-up ads for air-brushing the models. Media=professional liars.

    Girls, my advice (if anyone cares) is this: A beautiful wrap dress, hot shoes, a nice pedicure and good smelling hair goes a LONG way with us guys. Yes, us Y-chromosomes are pretty tired of the media, too.

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  7. So your complaint is that attractive overweight stars are attractive because their fat highlights their feminine features.... and how DARE they do that?

    Bones are attractive. They give structure: long legs or petite stature, wide/narrow hips, sharp cheekbones, delicate fingers...

    Muscle is sexy as hell by shaping the body. Technically bubble booty is 80% muscle definition and 20% fat...

    But fat.... how DARE Hollywood admit that buttery frosting layered lovingly on a woman can make her cute, sexy, womanly, motherly, or whathaveyou?

    Is Fat Acceptance about showing how fat can shape women beautifully, or is it about accepting apple and boyish shaped women and resenting hourglass, pear and inverts?

    Every picture I google of Lillian Russel DURING her career, she is a shapely hourglass about size 10-14. But let's dismiss the Joan Harris character because her breasts are intimidating enough to ignore her wide waist, soft arms, thick legs and round face...

    (Does size 8-14 overweight stop meaning that when it still looks good or when larger women exist? What if men were this selfishly fickle and adding 20 lbs of muscle no longer made you "muscluar" because Arnold and the Rock still exist? You have to gain atleast 50 pounds of muscle to call yourself muscular. You're not a real man yet.)

    Could I hear what is actually attractive, sexy, cute, sweet and saucy about the female body to YOU? Because Fat Acceptance is starting to sound like "Accept that I'm never going to workout."